Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Hooray For Big Bums And Boobies - the Golden Globes Edition

Yesterday the 2012 Golden Globes were held over in La La Land.

Not that my opinion means diddly to anyone
but 
my picks for best dressed?

Reese Witherspoon looking smoking in red, Brad and Angelina (brush your hair Brad),
Elle McPherson (stunning and rocked the walk on the stage) and Sophia Vergara.

I want a mermaid dress.


Stunning.

* Sigh *

Her Atelier Versace gown even came with its own bib.  The woman thinks of everything.

 Worst?


Sarah Michelle Gellar

"It's funny - I didn't try on that many dresses.  My 2 year old walked in and said Mama wear this!"

Obviously.


BACK TO REALITY

Miss Holly is now 5 days old.

Perfection personified.
Sleeps, poops, feeds then sleeps some more.

Possibly the worlds best baby and that's a totally unbiased opinion.
There's only one thing, well two things actually, that are becoming a bit of a nuisance.


My Golden Globes are putting in an award winning performance of their own.

(Do you like how I've tied that in, huh?) 

Hearing the baby makes my milk let down.

Thinking the word 'baby' makes my milk let down.

Doing absolutely nothing makes my milk let down.

Which has made me look udderly ridiculous.


When I least expect it, my bazookas shoot jet streams of milk.

Nifty way to turn someone's black coffee into a flat white.

From across the room.

Or cafe (which is why I haven't left the house).

I breast fed all the other kids.
None looked as
terrified
as this one 
when I whipped my melons out. 


"Oh MY GOD - what the hell can I wear to cover up these MONSTERS????" I moaned to the husband.

He took a look at my chest and smirked.

"You can just walk around naked...I won't mind."

Bastard.

NO BOOBIES FOR YOU!

Linking up with IBOT today.

12 comments:

CheekyMummie said...

Bah ha! MEN they dont realise they are not FUN BAGS anymore at this stage do they? I remember a comment passed as a breast fed my teeny tiny son - OH MY GOD how is he not suffocating under that MONSTER BOOB? Thats why their little noses are all squooshy flat and made for it. They survive. Your little one may have a similar problem herself one day when she is grown. She may get flash backs and she will know JUST what to do! Good luck!

Veronica @ Mixed Gems said...

Ha Ha! After feeding my little girl for 10 months, I get it. It all settled down after about 3 months so, phew! Hopefully you'll get there too. Now, my little one loves squishing, pinching, poking, scratching them. I need a solution to cover up too!

Eat Play Bond said...

Hahaha! I had some monster boobs when I was breastfeeding too, I went from a small C cup to an E - hubby thought it was awesome till he realised they leaked.
Congratulations on your gorgeous and perfect new baby, I hope the Golden Globes settle down soon :)

Amba @ Team Mummy said...

Oh I don't miss those! Mine where HUGE too!
Holly is devine!
x

Lisa @ HomeWorkMum said...

She's adorable, lovely!!

Mum on the Run said...

You've almost gotta feel sorry for the guys, really.
I would look at Hubby and be "are you for real? you seriously want this? even I wouldn't touch me right now!!"

Holly is all kinds of gorgeous.
:-)

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh i took me 4 babies to get my milk levels under control. First up i could have fed 10 babies, twins finally showed me what it felt like to be empty, ahhh, almost comfortable if not a bit deflated, then finally, just right, oh i had goldilocks boobs!!
Can't wait to hear what freaks find your blog now, with all those squirty references, love Posie

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh i should say, the first time my milk came in with baby one, my husband had to hold my boobs in the shower as the rock hard rockmelons they had become, were too sore to bend down. It was insane. I loved the let down in the shower, ahhh . . . i fed my 3 girls for 18 months & my son for 2 years, he's a boob man for sure, sorry to his future wife!! Love Posie

Sarah Mac said...

mine used to go off all the time too, that 2 second tingle warning and then WHOOSH - everywhere!

I don't know, a smock or a poncho maybe ... ;)

SOMMERWHITE said...

Hi ! I came across your blog..couldnt stop reading it ..you are.. such a funny person haha ! You have inspired me. xo

Jess@Diary of a SAHM said...

I have never seen a cuter, or more terrified baby! I love it!

She is gorgeous, and congratulations!

Didnt see he globes but I saw the outfits; that chick from the Modern Family looked goregous! Almost as beautiful as Baby Holly ;)

Misha - TheBlingBuoy said...

Bahahaha! How can anyone with a 5 day old baby have such wit... and not even any typos! I'm not even sure I was speaking coherently when mine were that young. Brilliant work...and Holly is gorgeous (even when she looks terrified). :)